Hug Me First: Connection Before Correction — A Family Guide to Big Emotions
What do you do when your child falls apart — and you don't know what to say?
Every parent has been there. Sitting on the kitchen floor. Holding a crying child. Heart racing. Searching for the right words.
Hug Me First gives you the answer.
Written by Terence L. Shigg, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with over 16 years of experience working with children and families — and as a parent who has used every one of these tools himself — this warm, practical book shows you exactly how to help your child navigate big emotions, one hug at a time.
Through five real-life family stories, you and your child will learn six science-backed techniques that actually work:
- Name It to Tame It — say the feeling out loud to calm your child's brain fast
- The Hug-First Goodbye — a 4-step ritual that eases school drop-off anxiety for good
- Dragon Breathing — a fun, powerful calm-down technique children ask to do again
- Warnings + Choices — stop power struggles before they start
- 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding — use the five senses to move a scared child from fear to safety
- Repair — what to do when YOU lose your cool (because it happens to all of us)
Every technique is grounded in peer-reviewed research from leading experts including Dr. Daniel Siegel, John Bowlby, Dr. Bruce Perry, and Dr. Bessel van der Kolk — and written at a level that both parents and children can understand and use together.
Hug Me First includes:
- A full-color Feelings Chart to use every day
- A Calm-Down Toolkit with 6 ready-to-use tools
- A printable Fridge Card for quick reference
- A Bedtime Feelings Check-In ritual for stronger connection
- A heartfelt letter written directly to your child
Connection before correction. Always.
Perfect for parents, grandparents, teachers, therapists, and anyone who loves a child with big feelings.
